I believe all the problems are due to underdeveloped people not finding psychologically compatible partners. Suitable pairs will be both comfortable with each other most of the time. For example, this theory stemming from Carl Jung's ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socionics ) gives people understanding, that they better find dual of his own type to live happier life. Those pairs divorce more rarely and both partners grow faster in such partnerships. The theory is almost completely gender-neutral. I found it has good predictive power, even though the type can't be reliably identified with just tests (psychologist is needed). For example, you describe ISFj type (regarding money wanted from men). This perfectly fits her dual ENTj. And yes, ENTj is a "victim" of ISFj, but they are happy with that.